I Have Good News

Me: “Student, I have good news. “

Student: “What?  Let me guess, you have a date?” 

My relationship status is increasingly becoming a topic of conversation.  Actually, I’m flattered that people that love and respect me want someone to walk the journey of life with me.  They see me.  They see my growth and strides that I have put into the best relationship, the one with myself.

For the past three years, I dated a few people (emphasis on a few).  This post is not meant to be a drawn out explanation of why it did not work out, which was not the greatest lesson I learned about love in the past three years.  The easiest thing to do in any “failed” relationship is to blame the other person.  X, didn’t do this or that.  Or, we passively throw out the phrase, “It’s not you, it’s me.”  More often than not, we never take time to reflect on the “It’s me” part.  That was the part I needed to reflect on because what I truly wanted in a partner seemed to fluctuate based on where I was in life.  The wants in a partner needed to end with a period.

In my reflection, it became clear that to some degree it was me.  It was me because the main and most loyal relationship that I had to nurture and breathe life into was the relationship with myself.  We were each other’s committed partners, and that love did not grow solid the way that it needed to.  I was not loyal to us.

They were lovely men in their own ways; however, I silently asked them to be responsible for something that I owned.  It is my responsibility to be full of joy, to know who I am, and what I need in life.  It is my responsibility to know what I want in life and love.  It was not theirs, they have their own shit to manage.

After three years of doing the relationship dance, I came to the conclusion that it was in fact me.  I played either a small or large part in why things did not work out. Now I am ready to date.

You may ask, “What are you looking for?”  Here is my personal ad:

Single Male between 37-45 years old

Must love a free-spirited woman, who loves to travel and takes the road less traveled.

Must be willing to challenge her and make her laugh.

Must be willing to form our own version of perfection.

If you believe that you would be a great candidate, please apply.  Only serious inquiries accepted.  Please do not send Eggplant emojis or “wyd”.  It is not cute.




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